Different Does Not Mean BETTER

Don’t let someone’s view/confidence diminish your happiness in what you have

            When we are talking with family and friends there are moments that we feel loved and appreciated. Then there are moments that we feel less than or in competition with. Why do we do this? Especially, with the people that mean the most to us? Maybe, because of a Darwin approach of “survival of the fittest” but also because we want the best in life. Why do we have to fight with our inner voice on our competence and place in life when we are listening or sharing about what is going on in our lives? When talking to people I tend to innately compare myself to others in terms of intelligence, physical appearance, or things they have. Even if we are “comparable” there is also something I can find that is different. 

                                                DIFFERENT DOES NOT MEAN BETTER! 

            Let me yell it louder for the people in the back..being different, having different views and ways of life does not mean you are lacking! It just means, that whatever they are doing, thinking and buying works better for them in their life. Sometimes it’s hard to feel that way when your friend looks better than you at a get together or has a nicer house, car, photos, etc., but that doesn’t mean that your life is less than. It just means you are different! 

            When we try to make ourselves like and appreciate the same things as others, we compromise the authenticity of who God made us to be. I struggle with this hardcore. I also feel that I am not quite “there” if my house isn’t super clean and my family pictures are prefect. The need for perfection to a level I don’t know the end to. What am I trying to achieve? If I am trying to achieve happiness, health, and love then, I am there! I have all of those things..then why do I feel the need for more? Why do I feel the need to always have what others have or think how my best friend thinks? The answer: I DON’T. God puts people in our lives with different opinions and styles so that we can collaborate, learn and grow. We are meant to work together with people and listen to their views. No one said we have to adopt what other people think but we do have to respect them as a person with a working, living brain! 

            I am working on recognizing that just because my loved ones look different, feel different, have “nicer” things, cleaner house, more well-behaved children, more money…etc. that it does not diminish the beautiful life my husband and I have created… it just means we are beautifully different! Additionally, when people want to celebrate their achievements, I should purely be there with them in the feeling. Not to steal their spotlight with my need to compare. We are meant to celebrate with others! We should want to lift each other up and not feel the need to diminish their achievement because of how it makes us feel. In a world of strong opinions and fairness, let’s be people who love and support. Let’s teach our children and remind ourselves that just because someone/something is different does not always mean they are better! 

            A lot of this for me sometimes stems from the feeling of annoyance from other because I can be overbearingly, confident. Which for me means that I am proud of how hard I worked at something and I just want others to celebrate with me. Obviously, sometimes my confidence can be too much and not needed but to understand by intention is what I am trying to explain. Since I struggle so much with my mental health, when I achieve it is a big deal for me! I want to celebrate and want friends/families support. I don’t ever intend to make someone feel less than or need to compare. I am sure others feel this way, we just want to feel loved and supported. I have realized that I should just celebrate whole-heartedly and not feel the need to one up or compare.